WANTED: Midwife with experience

Well, I had a weekend to remember. Sorry, this story isn't about the Tader but TRUST ME it deserves a spot on the Blog.............
A new employee started working at AEGON about 6 weeks ago, when she arrived we realized that she was 33 weeks pregnant. Her entire family lives in Nigeria and she doesn't know a single person in CR. I have literally had 4 conversations with this women consisting of about 20 minutes each time. Until Sunday I really had no clue what kind of impression I had on this woman nor did I really even think about it....She was a co-worker, end of story, or so I thought.
On Sunday Morning around 3am my phone starts ringing, I did not recognize the number therefore I didn't answer it the first 2 times. The third time my phone rang I thought someone must want to talk to me. I pick up the phone and on the other line is this woman (Toyin). She was in labor and didn't know what to do. Of course, half asleep I ask for her address, tell Tom that I am leaving and head out the door. When I got to her apartment complex she was sitting in her car, hospital bag and car seat ready to go. As I start driving down I-380 I begin to time her contractions which are 3 minutes apart. Not wanting to deliver this baby on the Interstate I start driving 90 miles an hour and run every red light we came too. As we arrived at the hospital entrance for a brief moment I though "Good Luck Toyin, let me know if it is a boy or a girl."
No....I didn't have the heart to drop her off and leave her so I continued into the hospital, tons of thoughts going through my head. Labor and delivery take a long time and I am going to be sitting in the waiting room all day long, I should have brought a book or a magazine. Maybe I will buy one in the gift shop.
After they check her in, the nurse turns to me and says
Nurse: "Are you her support person"
30 seconds of silence b/c I was silently screaming
Me: "um...well...we work together!
Nurse "Are you going to be here for labor and delivery?
Me: Well I will wait outside for the delivery
Nurse: OH NO YOU WON'T (yelling like I was 10 yrs old and stupid) You need to be there for her, she needs a familiar face after she delivers
More silent screaming for 30 seconds
Silent crying for about 30 seconds
a little light headed...almost passing out.
Me: uh.........
The nurse then finished checking Toyin in and took both of us to the room where she was to deliver. 2 hours later Toyin was ready to start pushing. I turned to Toyin and said "Well I think I am going to wait in the hall, are you Okay with that? She wasn't, she wanted me to stay! OMG, OMG, OMG!!! So I stayed and 1.5 hours of pushing......Baby still wasn't out. Maybe it was because I wasn't holding her legs up high enough, maybe I wasn't doing a good enough job of keeping her feet in the stirrups.....OH YA....People, you can't make this stuff up. I was holding the legs of a 208 lb NAKED woman whom I recently met while she was trying to push out her baby!!! Sooo After 1.5 hours of her pushing and me wanting to go take a very long shower with bleach, the Dr said that she would need an emergency C-Section. Once again Toyin wanted me in the OR. I about had a heart attack. Surely someone could tell that I was very uncomfortable with this, surely the nurses could see me scratching my eyeballs out and would tell Toyin that she would be fine in the OR herself. Nope so I continued down the hall to the OR with what I can only assume everyone thought was my Nigerian love slave giving birth to our baby!
Well after the 30 minute C-section we had a little boy named David Amusan, 7lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long. Oh and to top it all off, every time this little boy looks at his birth certificate he is going to wonder who the heck this Dawn Buckheister was????? Yes, my name is listed as a witness on the birth certificate!!